Theres a lot of things in this world that cant be explain in words. Including, express yourself in public. Even I was a President of MPP (dah pencen, actually sampai January tapi dah pencen diri dari sekarang) I still hate public speaking. Bila nak buat ayat tu senang, lebih lebih lagi kalau nak kena bercakap lagi beberapa hari. Siap buat text, takut melalut kesana sini, but when it comes to the exact day, mula lah nak gemuruh jiwa semangat membara. Terutamanya bila nak kena speaking dalam bahasa inggeris. 

I am living in a non english-spoken country, which English is my second language (supposedly). However, my second language is Bahasa Melayu and my first language is Indonesian. So basically, English is my third language. I take more time than an average people to develop my English skills, yes, because I was not trained to speak in English for my daily conversation. So, poor me.

Even when Im started to blog, I was ready to learn English but theres few Malaysian bloggers that attracts me to learn Malay more. So, yeah. Demi memartabatkan Bahasa Melayu, aku punn guna blog aku fully Malay. Tak macam sekarang, bercampur campur. Koranga da rasa tak macam ada aura aura, penjajahan English mula menyerang blog Mia ni? Obviously, YES. And even everytime I was about to post an entry, it takes like half an hour for me to decide, which language that I supposed to write today. In malay or English. TRUE, It is fun to have multi-races in your blood, but when you are in your own space where you are about to send your messages to public, you are having a confusion that not even you can handle it. Dan akhirnya, giving up. 

But, one day. 

I realised.

If I'm still living like this, how long I can survive in this world? Finding myself in which language that reflects my identity and babling about why cant I fit in, in this world?


It does not matter, how perfect you are. How great you can write in several language or how master you in some language. Or how good your grammar is. The important is when you are doing your writings, your audience received your messages with a positive vibes. It is okay for you to write in fully Malay or fully English or even fully Indonesian. Hey, we have been living in multi-cultural country for more than 60 Years. The identity that we should uphold is our multi-races with different languages, different ethnics, different religion but still can deliver a positive messages everywhere. 

Also, we need to be more confident in our writings. Believe me, if you are not confident with your own writing, how about the readers? So starting from now, I'll try to combine my postings with both languages. But all of it will be fully in languages. Contoh, entri ni bahasa melayu, so Mia akan guna fully malay. Lepastu, masa entri bahasa english, akan guna fully english. Let's challenge ourself. If I can try, why dont you try too!

ps. Im in learning mood. Please be nice! :)

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